So this weekend was Mother’s Day. Personally I never held much stock in the event. It’s an overly involved brunch, some unwanted picture taking and a lot of beginner-level pottery. Now I’m not made of stone, an affectionate handmade card gets me every time, but the rest? Honestly, I would skip the holiday altogether if it meant eliminating the ads, commercials and hype. That being said, I did, purely for curiosity’s sake, browse the interweb to see what was trending for moms. These are the top 10 gifts virtual men have chosen for the moms in their lives:



Gift Card




Bath products/lotions


Tea/Coffee maker


Almost nothing with a cord, so we’re making progress…however. Don’t buy makeup for another person. Ever. If you buy different makeup than she usually wears, you are saying, You could look better; if you’re refilling her existing supply, you’re unimaginative. Perfume is touchy. Buying mom a bottle of the stuff she already wears is thoughtful but humdrum. Buying something new is monumentally risky, but worse, prompts a lot of questions.

Gift card…zzzzzzz, I’m sorry. I must have dropped off there for a minute.

Sunglasses are a good choice. Most people have more than one pair, so if they’re not exactly right, they can still work. Also, they are one size fits all, so no issue there. Thumbs up. Same is true for jewelry. Even if it’s hideous, it’s still jewelry.

As for wine, I would avoid anything she can throw in her grocery cart while zipping through Schnucks. As for chocolate, no one ever complained about a Teuscher Champagne truffle. Bath products will earn you a tight smile and snippy aloofness for the rest of the day. Flowers are fine. I love getting flowers actually, but put some thought into it. You don’t have to arrange a bouquet, but you also don’t need to clip a fistful of your neighbor’s hydrangeas.

As far as hot beverages go, I don’t care that the millionaire next door makes his own coffee, I’m going to Starbucks. Technology is a winner. It’s not around long enough for someone to be bothered by it and most of the time, it’s pretty nifty.

That’s my two cents. Honestly, the best Mother’s Day gift I ever got was when my husband took Cranky, Whiny and Punch away with him for the day, the whole day, as I lounged around my empty house doing absolutely nothing. The one thing a mother almost never has, is time to herself—well, that and the chocolate.