Something to tell your teen?  Well, you’re more likely texting than talking these days. And, it’s going to take a lot more than a :) or a :( to get their attention or earn their respect. I picked up a book of texting acronyms for my daughter the other day.  It is 50 pages long. Moms, that means we’ve got some catching up to do. 

There’s no doubt that your kids already know shorthand for “Mom over Shoulder – MOS.” But maybe you need to know the texting code for Marijuana – 420.  Crafty, no?  Parent is watching me? 9. Parent no longer watching? 99.  What about “KPC – Keeping parents clueless!” In that case, a digital override from Mom might say, “PMFJI  – Pardon me for jumping in” or to short-circuit the sex talk they didn’t listen to, “ KYP or Keep your pants on!”

“DWI” and “BYOB” are two us older folks invented … and should still fear along with the newer “DIC – Drunk in charge and DOC – Drug of choice.” And just in case your teen gets busted, check the very next text.  It could be “CMBP or Cover my butt partner!”

 “EWI or Emailing while impaired” could lead to “FMTYEWTK – Far more than you ever wanted to know.” As usual, parents are left shaking their heads at teen insistence on being different in ways that are not necessarily improvements.  Isn’t “TMI” a more efficient way to say “more info than I needed” than “MITIN?” 

 I really like “ESO – Equipment Smarter than Operator” and “OMIK – Open mouth, insert keyboard.” 

How to decode what your teen thinks of a love interest that they DO NOT talk to you about?  No doubt an “IIIO – Intel inside, idiot outside” is a lot better than “A completely obsessive, really nutty person or ACORN.”  A “BHAG” is a big, hairy, audacious goal.  If anyone knows what that means, please tell me.   A “SLIRK” is a smart, little rich kid. “D8” is cute and means she wants to go out with him.  @>> is the symbol for red rose which is a polite way for a guy to say “hot” digitally. ASLMH or Age, sex, location, music or hobbies means they need to know more.

BTWITIAILW/U has got to be easier to spell out, don’t you think?  It’s “By the way, I think I am in love with you.”  And by the way, who would text that?

Let me know if I am missing anything.  In the meantime I am sealing this with a big kiss or “:-X”  and signing off as your favorite “SITCOM” or single income with two children and an oppressive mortgage.” P.S. – I would rather be “SIP – Skiing in Powder.”